I am Music
I am the several pairs of underwear i own
I am my LapTop
I am my colorful bed sheets
I am the girl who sat in the back of the club
I am my ugly bright pink guitar
I am the four years of high school i finished
I am the hot shower i take everyday
I am AfterShock i drink
I am the dirt on the floor
I am the girl screaming rape in a tech theater closet
I am the hate in peoples hearts
I am the note thrown away without a second thought
I am the girl looking in the mirror in my underwear wondering what im going to hate about myself next
I am the dead grass people look at in disgust
I am the sad song that makes you cry
I am the song that makes you dance
My name is Ashliee Wing and I have only been able to say that I like myself maybe twice in my life. I have days when i look at myself and I like me. Then I have days when I look or think about myself and I despise myself. Call it depression or whatever I dont care. Its not like I am suffering or anything. I just think to much and I know i do. I think about how I need to start college soon and I'm scared because i dont want to go to college and it not be what I expected, not that I really expect anything from it. I hate it when I start thinking about how I still live with my grandparents who drive me fucking nuts, its not that I hate the fact living with my grandparents I actually like it kind of; its just they cant afford to support me and my son and I know it no matter how much they deny it. I hate it when I get the feeling that I need to change something about myself, whither it is my hair color or cut or what music I want to listen to or how I want to dress. I hate having the feeling that I want to change myself. I hate thinking of what I want to do with my life. I know where I want to go and how I want to be but I have no clue what I want to do with the rest of my life. I hate it when I am told I need to know now what I want to do with my life. If I havent made it clear I will now. I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE. I hate it when I begin thinking of what I am to become when I get older. I dont want to be the bitter bitch who hates everyone because I like to think they did the wrong to me when I know they never did anything. I hate admitting I love someone, cause it means I am giving into the part of me I hated. The part of me that has made me the depressed bitter bitch i dont want to ever be. It means i actually have feeling like a real person and I dont want to be the mushy girl that... well that girls are played out to be. I decided that when I was 9 that I wouldnt be one of those girls who primped them selfs for guys or liked to say like every other word. I hate how there is no such thing as perfection and how the world likes to make there own views of perfection. If its not real then I dont want to ever hear about it. I hate how women are made out to look like serpents who trick men and other people into doing what is believed as wrong or aka sin. Though there are those women out there not all of them are. Its not right for me to be looked upon as a just a sexual person who temps men in doing wrong. I am not that way, I never have been, never will be.

The rants of a stupid girl dont mean much to most people but to some they mean everything

    I have never really been into politics but now as I am at the ripe age of eighteen, I feel the need to now inform myself of the situations that are happening in the country which I reside in. always a sensitive topic, illegal immigrants. I believe that if you are here in what I like to call my home illegal then get out. Say if a stranger walked into your house while you’re laying on your couch watching family guy eating more than you know you should; now are you going to welcome this stranger into your home and let them use your energy that you pay for, eat the food you work hard to get, sleep in the bed where you do your deeds. It the same as our country. I do consider this country as my home for I have lived here all my life. I don’t want to let somewhere who is not “invited” to stay here to walk over our system and slowly but surely rip it to shreds and ruin the reputation of our nation. In other words “ if I wanted to pay for you shit then id tell you so, but I didn’t so get the fuck out.
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